December 8, 2011

Why I'm writing again.



"...Knowing that I needed to sing, knowing that I still needed to do what I knew I was supposed to be doing.

Right now, it's just choosing to worship all the time. That's what it is for me. Because I don't always feel like it. Sometimes I don't feel like singing to God. But I know my circumstance in this season doesn't change that God is still God. It doesn't change what God's called me to be or what He's called me to do.

He's still on the throne in heaven, ya know?
And he still rules.
And he's still bigger than everything I'm facing.

I was singing, and I believed everything that I was singing. And I still don't really know why. Part of me was still broken. It wasn't like, this huge rush of how I always felt when I worshiped... Like the presence of God flattened me. It wasn't like that.

But just going, 'I know that You're here, God.' 

I knew I just needed to keep singing. Even when you're saying things that you know are truth, but you might not necessarily fully understand yet."



I was talking to God this morning, and thinking about that "knowing that I still needed to do what I knew I was supposed to be doing" part.

I heard Him say "Ashlyn. Tell the story."

So then I asked Him this: "um, what story... Yours or mine?"

(This is when you and I have a mutual agreement that we all have our blonde moments, k? K thanksssss.)

And He just was quiet. Smiled, probably.

Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I thought. Baha. They're the same aren't they?

And I like to think He smiled again. Yup, my story is forever intertwined with His grace and love and POWER...

So I'm making a comeback here. Writing again. Which I had decided I wasn't going to do until my life was 100% glamorously blog-worthy. I've realized that I need to get over myself, because there's people out there--at least I'm pretty sure--that don't always want to see a shimmering little life where my nails are always an unchipped You Don't Know Jacques and my new little Atlanta home looks like Pinterest knocked on my door and said "GIRL, get out da way I'm here to decorate." And where it's really easy to be 23-and-a-half because you were pretty good at college and then lived by yourself on the road for a year.

This stage is more like the junior high of adulthood. And that's okay!

Because we're constructed to lean on each other. Called as Christians to be the Body of Christ. Called to encourage one another. Called to keep singing even when life doesn't exactly make sense. 'Cause sometimes life's got glitter sprinkled on top, and sometimes not. But either. Way. We. Sing.

Cause either way, there's always something to sing about: He's on the throne.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, you know, I think I like that kind of approach to writing a lot better.

16 comments:

  1. I love this post for so many reasons. Mainly because most people don't want to read about "glamour." And, if they do, they can look up the Kardashians and revel in them. People like to read "real" so that they can relate and feel like they're not alone in their thoughts, experiences, and feelings. What's more real than Jesus and the comfort and companionship that He provides? Plus, a life in Christ isn't always glamorous. Talking about the not-so-glamorous stuff is what helps others. You nailed it on the head: as long as you tell your story, you'll tell His. So, keep writing... even if you think it's insignificant. Just lay it all out there.

    I'm so thankful to have met you and for our new friendship. && I love reading your posts. Let's dominate this new city of ours together, shall we?

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  2. I'm so glad you are writing again! Yours has always been one of my favorites.

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  3. I have no other words other than I LOVE THIS. And I definitely understand that junior high of adulthood feeling.

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  4. so glad you're back :)

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  5. I am so glad that you are writing again! Your posts are so inspiring to me. Reading about your walk with God and the way you spread His word has really helped encourage me and my walk. Keep doing what you are doing! You are such a great role model of how to really live out your values. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us!
    Pi love, sister!

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  6. Happy you are writing again :). I totally understand that transition from college student to supposedly full--grown adult and it just doesn't happen for most of us the way we'd imagined. It is a process and one that we have to trust, appreciate, and respect because it is His process. I'm a few years older than you and I still don't have it all together and I'm not sure I ever will BUT I'm happy in the moment. I do the best I can and I think I do just fine. I'm thinking you do as well :).

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  7. So glad you're back. Your encouragement and words of truth are always uplifting to my spirit. Keep it up, sister!

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  8. So happy you're back! Your blog has been one of my favorites since I first started blogging. I've never encountered another blogger who is so honest about her faith and relationship with God, so keep it up!

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  9. Hey darlin - you couldn't be dull if you tried. You've got shimmer coming out your ears! And if you were 23.5 with it all figured out - you'd be having a pretty boring early 20's experience. Give it time hun and enjoy every minute of it! xo

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