Snap yo fingers, do yo step.

Roar. Photo courtesy of Tiny White Daisies.

History Lesson for Wednesday, March 23, 2011:

Greek diplomats would drink vino (No wait--that's Italian. Whatever.) while listening to their colleagues speaking. They didn't want to put down their drink to clap.

So they snapped.

Thus the origin of the sorority snap. Boom. I srat, therefore I snap.

And today, I'm headed up to Knoxville, Tenn. for some good 'ole Southern hospitality (I can already tell from the sweet emails fillin' up my Outlook box) at University of Tennessee. Strike up "Rocky Top," y'all--I'm headed to Alpha Kappa! Snaps to that.

Blog post title: "Buy You a Drink" by T-Pain. Throwwwbaaaaack...

But where do you LIVE?

Photo courtesy of Tumblr.

My daily (Okay, I lied. Weekly.) conversation:

"So do you go home after you visit us?"

"Um, no--I go straight to the next chapter."

"Wait--aren't we based in Atlanta?"

"Yes. Good girl."

"But so your office is there, right?"

"I don't have an office. I live out of two suitcases and a carry-on."

"Oh. So where are you based?"
"Atlanta, technically."
"But you don't live there?"

"No. I do not have an office and live out of two suitcases and a carry-on."

"But we're BASED there..."
"Yes, so, like, my emails and phone calls go through ATL."

"Ohhhh. So you live at home!"

"No, the last time I was home was a month ago... My furniture lives there?"

"So but where do YOU live?"

"Two suitcases. One carry-on. I do not really go 'home.'"

"Gotcha. Except on weekends, huh?"
"I get 48 hours a month, so um, no. I leave here and go to another chapter."

"Ohhhhhhhhh! I think I get it. That's a weird job. But really awesome. I thought you were gonna be like, 60. But you're really cute. (uhh, thanks?) Wanna go on a run?"

Story of my life. Hello, world: I have one of the weirdest jobs in America.

And I. Love. It.

Gettin' lucky in Kentucky.

Dream come true. But next time I'm here, I want a hat and julep.

If you follow my little story, you recall I was last in the icy glacier that was University of Maryland. I'd like to report that the Beta Phi women did a gorgeous job with recruitment! After the advisory board treated Megan and me to a little toast at a real-live speakeasy called Gibson in D.C.'s U-Street district (Legit prohibition style. As in, the door isn't marked, there is a waitlist, my drank put me back 20 bucks--'erything.), my blondie and I waved so long and I hopped a plane to Kentucky...

University of Louisville

Expansion Visit

Louisville, Ky.

More snow. Whirlwind of notes, memorizing lines, and BAM--you're on stage. Multiple meetings with deans, administrators, and Panhellenic members. 1.5-hour-long presentation. Crackin' jokes in the middle of my part of the presentation (you gotta make 'em smile). Greek row tour. "Don't step on the cardinals!" Q&A. "Hi!MynameisAshlynStallingsandIserveasaLeadershipConsultantforAlphaDeltaPi." Visit from UK's Beta Psi sisters. Mini-tour of Louisville. Dinner at Bristol. Sweet tea for the first time in a month. (Then I got reeaal sick. Go figure.) Hanging out with CBG, ADPi's International President herself. Expansion trips work like bidding, so when the university has room for a new chapter, the word hits the National Panhellenic Council street... Fingers crossed, this would be a cool one for Alpha Delt!

Centre College

Eta Omega chapter

Danville, Ky. 

Tuesday and Wednesday I spent officer-training style down the snowy, antebellum mansion-lined roads of little Danville, Kentucky! Check it: Centre is so small that the girls said other students spied me hanging out with them and knew I was an outsider. So much for fitting in... But this school is bumpin' with tradition (streaking, no class cancellation since before the Civil War...) and a pretty sweet chappy of precious ADPi's. You craft me a sign for the door, and I'm putty in your hands, collegians. Sold.

Scenes from the Eta Omega house.

Wish we had more than two days, because we sure "clicked" fast, Eta Omega girls! I coulda spent cozy nights in PJ's giggling over rediculous YouTube videos in the chapter room while the snow poured down for another day...

Dinner with the girls. Danville's eating establishments aren't too shabby...

So yeah. I loved Kentucky.

My schedule changed (but I still work hard for the money).

Photo courtesy of Rachael Pace. Megan said it looked like me.

Do you know what I stinkin' love about this job? The unpredictability. Hands-down. It rules. Fun fact: In the 1960's, ADPi LC's called Executive Office on a pay phone when they got to chapters to check in and find out where they were going next and when the plane pulled outta the gate.

Dunno if I'm that spontaneous, but my February schedule just changed a bit--yes, the month that's two days away--and I'm so pumped! Coupla days ago, I posted my February travels. But I'll have to check out South Dakota School of Mines and Technology the next time I'm twidlin' my thumbs out in the northern plains, because I'M GOING TO UVA, BABY! And Centre College--bring it, Kentucky. I've never met you before.

Go Cavaliers. Heckyes, I WILL be buying school paraphernalia. Who wants a shirt? Anyone? Bueller? So yeah. That's:

University of Louisville

Louisville, Ky.

Expansion Presentation with some members of ADPi Grand Council and the Expansion Team

 

Centre College

Centre, Ky.

Eta Omega Chapter

University of Florida

Gainesville, Fla.

Gamma Iota Chapter

Distrcit IV Leadership Convention

Detroit, Mich.

University of Virginia

Charlottesville, Va.

Zeta Xi Chapter

District III Leadership Convention

Baltimore, Md.

Drake University

Des Moines, Iowa

Theta Eta Chapter

What am I gonna do when my life doesn't operate around airline schedules? They offer therapy for that, right? #separationanxiety

Blue and white we'll always be.

Photo courtesy of Southern Darlin. I think we are the same person.

University of Maryland

Beta Phi Chapter

College Park, Md.

 

Alpha Pi. Iota. Delta Theta. Alpha Chi. Gamma Rho. Theta Zeta. Kappa (KAPPA!!! Shout out to my girls. I miss y'all.) and Eta Rho, obviously.

I may have feet planted here in Maryland for recruitment at Beta Phi chapter,

but we're pulling in from Alpha Delta Pi chapters across the nation.

Above translated from Greek: George Washington University. Valdosta State University. University of California-Los Angeles. Arizona State University. Washington & Lee University. Samford University and California State University-Chico, obviously.

Alpha Pi girls came over on Sunday to help us practice! Thank y'all! Meg and I shall be hoppin' on the Metro soon to come see your pretty townhouse.

 

It's like going to Grand Convention or a district conference--we need to be reminded that we at our little campuses do not make up _____ sorority. You're actually pretty new to Greek life, comparitively speaking, if you're still in college...

Dear sorority women of America: I do not care how "good" you think your chapter is. Well, first of all, right now I don't care if you're a KD or Alpha Gam or an ADPi or whatever, but second of all I do not care how "good" you think your chapter is. How old, how prestigious, how many awards you've won. Improve it. Lead it. Lead Panhellenic life at your university. Look to your left a few miles, to your right a few hundred miles. Get ideas and implement them. There is no sorority chapter in this whole nation doing everything perfectly, regardless of the letters are on your Vineyard Vines bag (or frocket tee. I could thump people that pen annoying articles like this in the Auburn Plainsman. Get. Over. It.).

See? They were here before us. And stinkin' cute, too. Photo courtesy of Alpha Theta chapter.

I know I have a really, really warped view on sororities because I am constantly traveling. But I'm passionate about this idea because I'm guilty of being a total ADPi snob. I was a member of a single-letter, ancient ADPi chapter that is at the top of the international awards chain for our organization. Guess what? That's not good enough. Improve. Get better. Stay current. Reach out across America to see what other chapters are doing. Refuse to rest on your laurels.

Then you'll really see some sisterhood. It looks dang pretty cool when it spans our great nation and a bunch of generations.

Disclaimer: This is not a rant. I'm passionate about it. And by now I know through fanmail or whatever that a lot of Greek women read my silly blog. And when I find a soapbox, I stand on it and preach. Story of my life.

And blue is our other color.

I'd say I'm sure everyone and their mother has seen this, but since I know my mother hasn't, I'm posting it. This adorable video is all the rage on campuses going through recruitment (I've seen it remade a couple of times). I'm utterly fascinated with marketing to college-aged women, and welp--this does it. Done. Well done, Baylor Kappas. You just garnered the attention of the country's sorority community in your frat hats and neon and they're all talking about you. Get it. Mark my words: Half the chapters of Kappa in the South are gonna be singing this August.

My grandmother wore the KKG pin, so my little competitive complex is always a bit soft around Kappa. Of course, I wish someone in blue and white had thought of it first, but they kill it. I'm really Panhellenic. I promise.

She works hard for the money.

Photo courtesy of Mary Ruffle.

Aaand here's the next travel set. Hello from a distance, February. Can't wait 'til you begin!

University of Maryland

College Park, Md.

Beta Phi Chapter

University of Louisville

Louisville, Ky.

Expansion Presentation with some members of ADPi Grand Council

and the Expansion Team

Centre College

Centre, Ky.

Eta Omicron Chapter

University of Florida

(I'M SO EXCITED! Never been, always wanted to check out the swamp.)

Gainesville, Fla.

Gamma Iota Chapter

Distrcit IV Leadership Convention

Detroit, Mich.

Drake University

Des Moines, Iowa

Theta Eta Chapter

District III Leadership Convention

Baltimore, Md.

and, wait for it--

South Dakota School of Mines and Technology

(yes, it exists. Who knew.)

Rapid City, S. Dak.

Eta Eta Chapter

Lehsgo board some planes, y'all.

So I live in this weird, Greek, fairytale land...

The colonade at W&L. Snow-dusted style.

Washington and Lee University

Theta Zeta Chapter

Lexington, Va.

They say Virginia is for lovers. And I loved this past week in VA. I'm back home for 48 hours after an amazing, exhaustive week tucked in a valley in Virginia. But I loved every moment of Washington and Lee University, Lexington, and the beautiful women of the Theta Zeta chapter...

But lemme back up and explain that title.

I need a photographer to follow me around and capture the odd things I do all week that are totally normal to me. Since I haven't found a photographer desperate enough to follow my fab lifestyle gratis, I'll commence with what you would see me do:

1. Get to bed at 2 a.m., wake up at 7 a.m., and start the work day all over again. Sustenance includes: LexCo coffee, Starbursts, coffee, Skittles, coffee, and Blue Sky veggie sandwiches. To finish, I pound more coffee.

2. Trek around through 6 W&L sororities' recruitment parties with a Panhellenic brigade. I see nothing abnormal about 100 18 to 21-year-old women banging on walls, stomping, chanting, singing sororitized lyrics to We R Who We R/Hall and Oates/Teach Me How to Dougie, and having conversations timed to the minute to equate precisely 25-minute rounds. Nothing. Totally standard. Hence why sorority membership is a common thread between female hires for HR and recruiting jobs. We got it on lock.

Srat row and our almost finished hizzy since we're the new kids on the block.

3. Miss the entirity of the Auburn-Oregon BCS Championship Game after living my whole life as an obnoxious Auburn fan because of (you ready?) sorority recruitment. I had a sweet friend text me every play during the Open House Recruitment party. To which I donned my Cam #2 jersey pulled over my work ensemble and heels. Number of Potential New Members (aka rushees) that asked for the score: 3. I also updated the anxious southern-bred Alpha Dee's between every party. Thus my lack of professional attire was pardoned. WAR EAGLE.

4. Take morning exploratory prayer runs through W&L's 200-year-old campus and Lexvegas. The Stonewall Jackson House, Robert E. Lee's old house, Virginia Military Insititute... I love old buildings. I love history. I love praying. I was in heaven.

Lee family crest, admissions office, Lee Memorial Chapel, front gates.

5. Ponder purchasing a Barbour jacket, considering every other female at W&L rocked one. I like my clothes a tad masculine sometimes. They're on to something.

Alexa Chung doesn't go to W&L. But you get the idea.

6. Grab coffee/eliptical trainer-cize alongside the Pi Beta Phi and Kappa Delta consultants also stationed at "dubyanell." Verdict? We're totes presh. There's no one that can relate to you, living out of a suitcase, or discussing insurance and legacy policies like a fellow consultant. Instant friends.

7. Put an upside-down penny on the grave of Robert E. Lee's horse, Traveller. It's tradition to, because as the saying goes, then Lincoln has to kiss Traveller's, well, you know...

8. Visit the founding sites/headquarters of Kappa Alpha Order, Alpha Tau Omega, and Sigma Nu. I know, I know: I'm a Greek nerd. Sue me.

Dad goes, "Sigma Nerds, Ashlyn? Cool." Intense SAE-Sigma Nu rivalry in his day, apparently.

9. Celebrate reaching quota on year numero 3 of chapter existance with these pretty ladies. To get cheesy, though I'm 6 months in to the job, it's still always so amazing to me how these women take in and care for a total stranger and then hug me at the end of a week. And they say college-aged kids are selfish--I beg to disagree. Deep in my heart, I love my ADPi...

Next stop? Iowa on Tuesday. Brrr.

Why Georgia.

My besties celebrated with me on my last night home. Yes, all of Montgomery is this beautiful.

I'm here! As of yesterday, I'm an official resident of Alpha Delta Pi headquarters.

(With an extremely tightly monitered security system, creepers.)

The front door knocker is a lion.

The upholstry in the turn-of-the-century parlor rooms is blue and white.

The  songbook on the grand piano downstairs is turned to "I Love the Frat!"

Painted woodland violets dance on antique dishes.

Portraits of honored Alpha Delts are everywhere.

They stocked the fridge for us.

You wanna see a frat castle?

You should check out my new digs.

ADPi Memorial Headquarters. Home sweet home.

Every morning, (Well, this morning. I've only been here 27 hours.) I wake up at 6 a.m. in a Southern mansion, rub my little eyes, and smile at the stirrings of my 6 new BFF's/LC sisters. Then we pop up and run a coupla miles through Atlanta's Druid Hills neighborhood and I'm reminded we're the overachieving, can't-slow-down, Type-A brand of girls that are pumped about traveling across America after these 3 weeks of jam-packed trainin' seshes.

Merry Christmas! Hair flip--just ask me for my cahd, dahhhling.

The throw us BlackBerrys (which, DUH, Mary Kathryn renamed BlueBerrys. #sororitygirl) and PC's. Which basically means I'm learning Yiddish and am cheating on my Mac products. Along with my very own ADPi ritual book which I squealed over--baha. People who know me are groaning because I so would.

Anyway, last night our most-fabulous boss trotted us over to Buckhead's Twist restaurant for sushi and tapas. Though we didn't see the fabulous Kim Zolciak of Real Housewives of Atlanta (she and her fake blonde hair frequent the joint), we ate up and then wandered through Phipps. Unfortunately, an LC salary isn't built for Elie Tahari or Gucci, dangit.

And today? After a breakfast of Chik-Fil-A (You'd think Truett Cathy was from here or somethin'), the 7 of us listened with intense, absolute, zero-day dreaming ears to a chunk of hours about sorority financial interorkings. Hear that, Daddy?! I actually paid attention to words like "accounts receivable," "billing,"and "credit" for hours. That's your cue to be proud.

Packing did NOT go well. When things got hard, I'd leave and go to layout at the club. They understand me there. Things eventually made it into the suitcases though.

So I have taken down the ponytails--sorta. I'm wearing more shifts and stilettos than my beloved Nike tennis skirts and bathing suits. I've actually got to put on something besides mascara and strawberry flavored Lip Smackers (yes, I'm 5).

But I'm having a ball.

'Cause of course, we're the real future housewives of Atlanta, like the LC class before us taught us. Being a professional sorority gives you major homemaker points.

Confessions of a Professional Sorority Girl

Yeah, right. If only. Photo courtesy of SBS Film/Legally Blonde.

Well y'all, it's go time. I leave in 5 days to start this crazy adventure as a traveling leadership consultant. So I wanted to take some time to explain why exactly I took this job. Why I'm working for a sorority. Cause I've heard it all, and I honestly poke fun at it myself most days:

    "So this makes you like, a professional sorority girl, right?"

    "You majored in sorority! Way to buck the higher educational system!"

    "&^%$, you're working for nationals? Dang, Ash. We hated that guy." - Frat Star

    "Wow. (eyebrows raised) You sure had fun in college, huh?" - Kind Church Pew Neighbor

Given the above skepticism, this how the 2009-2010 LC class instructed dealing with my friendly aisle buddy aboard a Boeing:

New Buddy: So, what line of work are you in?"

Me, flashing my million-dollar smile: "Oh, I'm in counsulting."

NB: "Really? What kind of consulting?"

Me: "You know, recruiting, retention, marketing, leadership services, financial needs..."

NB: "Oh, okay. Now what's the company?"

Me: "Well um, it's a non-profit women's organization based in Atlanta, Ga."

NB: "I meant like, what's the name of it...?"

Me: "Alpha Delta Pi sorority."

'Cause otherwise, you'll lose 'em at "sorority." Dang Animal House. Legally Blonde. Old School.

Old LC's passing the torch to us newbies.

So as journalism opportunities bloomed left and right in this ravishing job market NOT, I jumped at the opportunity to give back to ADPi. To get paid to jetset/sightsee. To grow up 3 years time in 9 months. To see if there's life on the other side of the Mississippi River. To plug my ears and turn my back to the looming world of corporate cubicles. To pretend I'm sorta-kinda still in college. To share Jesus as often as possible. <--this is the biggest reason I said yes to God's whole crazy idea about doing this. He had me on that one. So I said yes.

New LC class: It was love, and it bloomed quickly. Emily, Regan, Lori, Me, Megan, Jenni, Mary Kathryn

And yes, it absolutely scares me to death. I worry about getting lost, misplacing important things (um, have you met me?), navigating airport ALONE every 5 days, feeling kinda alone, and wreaking havoc on important relationships. That's the big one. No one's really sure about the cost of upkeep on a friendship when you don't exactly know when you'll see that girl again. Dear everyone: Yes, ha, I realize I'm the one potentially straining our friendship these days. :) Chyeah, you bet I'm leary.

But then God looks at me and says, "Hey, sunshine. (That's what God calls me. Not 'peanut,' like some of my friends think is a good nickname for me. They ignore it when I suggest 'sunshine' so I'll let God call me that.) No. Quit it--Stop worrying. Didn't I tell you "who of you in worrying can add another hour to her life?" The point of your life is Me, not you, remember? There's a glory of it all. That's me. I am going to pull you through a lot this year--hang on. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear. And hey, those friendships? Not to fret. I'm looking at the other side of this year and you'll eventually love what I work out, baby girl."

Hello, Hartsfield-Jackson. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are our future home?

So here we go. Now to negotiate with that empty 3 piece Heys luggage set on the other side of my room that are staring at me. I'll pack tomorrow.