Photo courtesy of Tumblr.
Last night, Mama, Daddy, and I were back-porch-sittin' last night in the warm night air while two bird dogs were catching lizards. Fantastic Stallings-evening entertainment, we know. Then they started asking questions about what I wanted to do "next year" (The parents. Not the dogs or lizards).
I put on my brave face. But really? In a word, I got scared.
A tad paralyzed.
With my own parents.
Because honestly? I do not know. There are no real leads. I'm not just saying that. I truly am not sure. If anything, my current job took this scattered, dream-big, never-say-never mind of mine and multiplied my journalism-major options. Greeeeaaat.
So I held it in. Until I was talking to a friend that I can never seem to "hold it in" with last night. And after being patient and letting me spout off like this friend always lets me do, he goes, "You know what, Ash? Psalms 56:3-4. 'When I am afraid I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise.'"
Fear = a trade-off opportunity for Trust.
Okay. So, easier said than done, but ok.
But God knows I'm the personality that wants a game plan. So when I pull Jesus Calling off my shelf at home this morning and let the pages fall to March 21, ha--first line: "Trust Me and don't be afraid, for I am your Strength and Song..." Cool, God. Cool. Love when He brings things full-circle. But you see, it goes further to say fear isn't just zero fun, it blocks the flow of God's strength. Of course it does...
It's like Noah (sorta). He built that ark. Why? Obedience to God. But remember: Boats weren't the "in" thing at that time. Especially barges like that. And rain? Yeah. Rain wasn't even invented. Until the flood, water came up to norish the earth through the ground. Now that's some fear (of rejection. Of failure. Of being called crazy.) traded for trust and faith. I want that brand of trust...
So I will relate to you in confident trust. Letting You know exactly how frusterated and nervous I am some days. Because You're my song. My reward awaits, and no good thing have You hidden from those who love you.
"I will quiet you with My love..."